Breakation

January 8, 2008 at 12:50 am (random)

Reading some archives, I realized that I used to write about interesting things with style. Hell, I could read my own writing and smile with pride for having created it. The same cannot be said for my latest offerings.

Something is plaguing me; a couple of things, actually. My brain isn’t working properly. On top of every black scorpion in my head (they are breeding again), a dense fog is descending. I can’t even string sentences together any more. This isn’t writer’s block – this is me needing to ditch the bravado, deal with what is keeping me down, get rid of the negative influences in my life and take charge of things. And start taking my medication again may help.

If you’ve never commented before, please do.. words of support or love will be very much appreciated right now.

So, I’ll leave you with some of my favourite things, to keep you company until I’m back.

Etsy – one of the coolest online stores. It showcases handmade arts, crafts and products from designers and artists all around the world.. I just want to buy everything there, especially these. Even if I can’t gather funds enough to buy these before they get sold, I really should get something similar, otherwise I’ll suffer even more through winter.

Jan von Holleben’s Dreams of Flying – (tip off by Sebastian) one of the most beautiful things in the world. Makes me smile.

The rest don’t have links, because I’m lazy. But here is my list, and they’re all beautiful and lovely: bluebirds, laying in bed reading, macadamia ice cream, snarfling vintage fabric from my Mum’s hoarded stashes, dancing in a full skirt, the distant pleasure that will be mine when I don’t hate my thighs, drawing in my notebook, the thoughtfulness of a certain person for giving me said notebook, Björk (who I am seeing in less than three weeks), kisses and hugs, cleaning out my handbag, loving and being loved by the best man in the universe, making cakes, daydreaming, sticking my hand out the car window to feel the air rush past,  and of course, pajamas.

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A Couple of Things

January 7, 2008 at 12:47 am (junk, nothing of consequence, random)

4 days until Tommy opens, 7 days until I start my new job, 41 days until my newest playmate comes from across the seas.

Tonight is the first night in a week or more that has been a bearable temperature – it’s cool and pleasant. Lack of sleep and various stresses have been making me feel quite unwell lately, so hopefully tonight will give me enough decent rest to leave that behind. But then I got distracted… but some rather exciting articles by Steff and Chelsea. Suddenly I wish I wasn’t alone tonight, and unfortunately I think this thought will persist and keep me awake all night.

Some more things:

Jaz: I’m sorry; I accidentally wore your shiny pink hot pants home from rehearsal. They were just so damn comfy. I promise I’ll take dance pants with me wherever I go from now on, lest you all have to bear witness to my thighs. Again. It’s acting, I know, but it seems so strange to wrap my legs around the waists of two unfamiliar men in the name of ‘fun’ choreography.

Sebastian: I’ve never known how it feels to be so brimming with love; “Thank you for being nice to me” – how could anybody want to not be nice to you? The little slice of ‘private Sebastian’ I got this afternoon makes up for everything and anything negative that has transpired in recent days. The thing that stings with the fury of salt on an open wound is the fact that there will be no more afternoons like this one – I feel like I’m losing you to your own success. Bittersweet. Tommy will consume everything; I don’t think you are prepared for the ‘fame’ you’ve fallen into. Everybody will want to be your friend, everybody will want you. Everybody – I’m sure there is someone in there that you’ll like better than me.. I have never seen you, or anybody, do what you did today.. simply, you were incendiary. Now everybody will see that… I’m so glad for you, but scared at the same time that you’ll burn so bright that you will lose sight of the less brilliant things in your wake.

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